I know a guy who, like many guys I know now that I think of it, enjoys sex. He enjoys it so much that he often uses his other head for all thoughts that come after saying his name.

Now this guy is extremely charming, handsome and has a magnetic personality. In fact, women fight over him regularly. And while women —or men for that matter —who opt to go up against someone else for a person who they have some sort of romantic/sexual/intimate ties to isn’t an anomaly, I can honestly say that buddy has some Super Saiyan next level ish that he works on these women.

Not only does he make them feel good, but he makes these women feel alive, worthy and loved. And he somehow manages to do so by pleasing them sexually. There is no committed relationship. There is no obligation to one another. It is simply sex.

The majority of living, breathing, healthy, functioning adults enjoy sex. Unless there’s been some unresolved trauma, health-related instances or a series of unfortunately terrible sexual encounters with whack mates, responsible—and consensual—physical intimacy is and should be part of one’s lifestyle.

It’s healthy; it’s entertaining and it feels GOOD.

While sex has many benefits, a relationship with just sex doesn’t offer many benefits at all. And that’s what many of these women—and anyone else who signs up for this type of connection—has: not much at all.

People agree to the “friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement often. Many view it as a win-win situation, but in a lot of cases, someone is left feeling well…unfulfilled. Why? Because sex isn’t enough to satisfy us in a relationship. If it was, the “friends with benefits” arrangement would be foolproof. The chances of it ending would be highly unlikely and everyone would be happily smiling from ear-to-ear.

Instead, you have these types of arrangements coming to a close for a number of reasons. One or both parties either develops a deeper connection that manifest into desiring a full-fledged relationship with their FWB that goes beyond sex, or they realize they have a connection with someone else that goes beyond physical gratification. Either way, the agreement is not enough.

Read more at EBONY.


  1. Spot on Shan Tell’em! This post would of gotten a 100 likes if that feature was available. The fact of the matter is that the FWB arrangement becomes boring and unfulfilling after a while. I’m definitely not the one to knock one’s fancy but at some point full fledged companionship is going to be desired by either or both parties involved which is usually with other people.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s