As social media becomes increasingly intertwined in our day to day living, we have to note the   impact that it has on our mental. No one puts up a status on Facebook without wanting at least one or two people to like it. The fact of the matter is that we share our thoughts on such platforms to engage with the masses. Twitter may be a bit different as the frequency of tweets allows for a stream of consciousness that only the tweeter can keep up with. In fact, Twitter more specifically one of my followers on the site, is the reason for this post. While reading her stream of consciousness, I observed the following tweets:

@MikLuvnn Also, if we’re dating (exclusively) and another chick flirts with you on your fb, I’ll ‘like’ it. LoL”

@MikLuvnn That means ‘I see this. Handle it.”

@MikLuvnn Needless to say… my “likes” are sometimes full of shade. LoL” 

So it got me to thinking about the “like” and our relationships and uses of it. Whenever someone “likes” a photo, a status or a video on your Facebook page, it’s for a reason. Some people like what you posted or have to say, while others have ulterior motives for their click of approval. My friend’s stream of consciousness was a clear indication of how she interacts with a significant other on social media. That’s what I want to focus on.

First off, I can’t get with the idea of not being friends on social media with the person that you’re involved with. Now you don’t have to “friend” everyone that you’ve went out with and for some it’s better that way, but if you are claiming this person as your other half, then you should be able to be  friends on social media without acting a fool.

I’ve heard the following reasons why some don’t friend their significant others on social media sites:

“She gets too jealous.”

He is a stalker.”

“I got too many people on my page that like me. I don’t want the drama.”

“Shit I still want to do me and flirt a lil.”

If you cannot be friends with them for whatever reason other than the fact that they are not on the site, perhaps you should evaluate your relationship. Frankly, I feel like people just want freedom to play. Now back to the subject at hand. The “like” can be used as a way to indirectly be passive aggressive with a partner. Here’s how to distinguish whether or not a “like”  from your significant other is genuine or you need to be worried.

By now everyone should know to keep their business, especially arguments between you and your significant other, PRIVATE. There are bloodsuckers who feed off of negative energy and best believe they are paying attention to everything that you throw up. While I lean in the “be friends with your girlfriend/boyfriend” direction, I’m not a fan of the world knowing who I’m involved with. As long as the friends and family members whom I trust know, I’m good. With that being said, even the most mature of us have let our emotions get the best of us and we’ve written that status or tweet that shows exactly that. So when you write that status and your beau “likes” it, they’re not agreeing with you, nor do they like what you said. They just want you to know that they saw your ass and it only adds fuel to the fire.

People who have successful, happy relationships have the understanding that you’re not going to know everyone who your girlfriend/boyfriend does. That’s just how life works. As long as you know the key people in their life: parents, close cousins, brothers from other mothers, best friends you’re good. With that being said, if you have a random “friend” who writes on your wall, likes all of your photos and statuses and leaves comments that may be more suitable for a bachelor and your significant other” likes” them, you have a problem. View that “like” as a bat signal and plan on explaining what’s going on if it continues. The bottom line is that you want to give your significant other reasons to actually “like” stuff on your page and not to passive-aggressively express anger towards your behavior. Moral of the story? Check your dips, or better yet don’t have any at all and just act right!


  1. Guilty! While I’m not an active user of Facebook or follow friend’s pages & profiles, someone whom I’ve been experiencing difficulties with this last year and had an intimate relationship with follows mine from time to time. I’m not for certain of this but what clues me in is when I do “Like” certain post that relates to relationship issues that closely match our situation, I’ll get a text from said person on occasion saying “hi” or “thinking of you” or “have a great day baby” which these texts have ceased months ago”. I’m passive aggressive and some of those clicked “Likes” are intentional. What really started the war of words by text a few days ago was when I updated my quotation in my profile that read “some for a reason, some for a season and very few for life”.

    Since said person is on Facebook daily, I knew eventually he might read it. Not sure if he had or hadn’t but that was the tipping point for me. Maybe a day after I posted the quotation, he sent a text expressing his feelings about our “relationship” and that’s when I let him know how I truly felt about it. I’m more of a face-to-face person when it comes to communication but in some instances, this type of communication is necessary when you have someone who has mastered the art of manipulation who tries to control the conversation or have you doubting what you are saying or trying to express which has happened on several occasions . I finally had to stand my ground, no matter what the outcome may be and demand enough of the nonsense from him and from myself for tolerating it and if he can’t come correct then he can’t come to me at all!

    1. O wow…that is kinda funny Everett552. At least you are human enough to admit it. And that last part about dealing with a manipulative person who tries to control the situation…I wouldn’t engage in any conversation at all with them. People who truly care don’t manipulate, they provide a safe platform for the one they love to speak freely, openly and honestly.

      1. “People who truly care don’t manipulate, they provide a safe platform for the one they love to speak freely, openly and honestly”.

        You’re right Shantellj, but those who truly care are in the minority. Those types of people are not use to a person speaking their mind or even having one for that matter because they’re so used to getting away with manipulation tactics on those who allow it. It felt like a d*&# rollercoaster ride. It was just time to get off . People constantly evolve and are not the same person they were years before and me having a passive aggressive trait, he took advantage of that. I got sick and tired of the BS and decided enough of the nonsense. Since that last texted conversation, I have kept my distance, ceased all conversation and moving forward.

  2. Yeah well if somebody writes flirting message to me and my s/o is in my friend list I guess I’ll just delete the message. No harm done. I cannot control others but I can control myself.

  3. I don’t even subscribe to Facebook. I can’t make the effort for yet another social media tool. He subscribes to Facebook but I don’t think he pays attention to it much. It was for his business. If a woman should hit on him, it would be in person.

    The reason why I say this, is that I have to poke him to even respond to comments by readers on his blogs.

    But then neither have cellphones …which I guess some couples use to “monitor” the other.

  4. “I can’t get with the idea of not being friends on social media with the person that you’re involved with.”

    I totally agree. If we can’t be friends on social networks, there’s a problem somewhere. I did find myself in a situation once where I made some general statements on Twitter and the guy I was in a relationship assumed that they were about us. It ultimately caused him to break up with me which nearly paralyzed me as a writer. People need to understand that not everything tweeted or said on a social network is personal. I think that’s where a lot of problems start. But yeah, I’m not the kind of person that will put my relationship on blast all over the internet. So, when I see something I don’t like, I ‘like’ it. LoL. And I expect dude to take the hint and handle it so that something on a social network doesn’t have to cause problems in real life where the essence of our relationship actually exists.

      1. He did. I believe that what I said was something along the lines of “Just like faith without works is dead, so is love without commitment.” But that started a conversation with a few of my Twitter followers about the topic of commitment. Well, an underlying issue in our relationship at the time was the fact that I was ready to move forward and start thinking about marriage and he was not. And seeing as how we had been together off and on since we were 15, I felt that thinking about marriage was reasonable at the time. I actually struggle with calling it an “issue” because it was more like a simply known fact between the two of us but not something that ever came up again after we established where we both stood. I guess it was an issue for him though and he decided to take to tweet some things in retaliation which is when I realized he had taken it personally. But, no, I was not referring specifically to our relationship and I told him that I was not when we talked about it, But I also was not unwilling to abandon the statements because they did reflect what I perceived as truth at the time. So, I kind of took an “if the shoe fits…” attitude. I was rather annoyed at the way he handled it…attacking back on Twitter instead of coming to me. And he was annoyed that I was unapologetic about the statements I had made. I felt it was something that could be worked out. He did not. We had an emotional blowout about it that ended with him saying we should go our separate ways. I was tremendously hurt and was unable to write from an honest place for a while after that out of fear that the people I love couldn’t handle hearing the absolute truth from me without taking it personally. We stayed broken up for about a year and some change and are back together now.

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  8. What should I think if my one of my Facebook friends (and my ex’s recent Facebook friend) posted something along these lines “one of these days, your going to wonder where she went, and when you finally find out, she’ll be on the arm of another man.” This girl is in a relationship with someone else (not my ex) and she’s been in that relationship since last September. Does this mean that she is breaking up with her current boyfriend? I am trying to get my ex back (trust me, he’s worth it. I read the post about ex’s and letting go, but this one is worth trying again), and I am concerned that if the girl is planning on breaking up with her current boyfriend that she will take him before I even get a chance to get him back

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