‘Situationships’ Are Much More Prevalent Than People Think

By: Candace A. Williams

The dating world has changed over the years and people have created all types of words and phrases to define their relationships. The truth of the matter is, titles matter.

People say they don’t, but if they didn’t, people wouldn’t be trying to find new ways to describe what they are doing in their romantic life. Dating, a relationship, fiancé, marriage, partner …those are all terms that people are generally comfortable with. Then there are the much used phrases “talking to,” “Netflix and Chill,” “FWB” (friends with benefits), and now another new word, situationship. A person might ask, what is that? Well…it is a way to define a relationship that consist of emotions and feelings, but exist with no title. Well, wouldn’t that be dating? No, because dating is simply going out on dates. Dating does not mean that you have developed feelings for someone. A situationship does not mean you go out on dates. You may talk to the person every day, and even spend the night at their house a couple days a week, but he or she is still not your mate.

Well…what’s the difference between FWB and/or Netflix and Chill versus a situationship?

A situationship has no title, yet one or both people involved have feelings for each other in some way. You don’t know how to introduce them when you run into your friends. You just end up saying, “Hey this is Michelle.”

Well…if that is the case why don’t those people just be in a relationship?

Good question!

However, for whatever reason, one or both people do not want to define the relationship in a more concrete term. Or they CAN’T, meaning they are in a relationship with someone else.

Usually people in situationships are not interested in working toward exclusivity, engagement or marriage. They are not interested in living together or meeting each other’s childhood friends or family members.

When these situationships end, they always leave one or both people involved feeling some kind of way and often, they can’t put into words how they feel because they don’t know how they should feel about someone who wasn’t even their boyfriend or girlfriend, fiancé or partner, husband or wife. Also, they’re not sure if they’re entitled to feel a way, because they never defined the relationship to begin with. They don’t know what to do when they find out that person went on a date with someone else, slept with someone else, decided to be in a relationship with someone else, or simply quit calling. Are they even entitled to be angry or upset? Mad or jealous? For those of you who watch Insecure, think Lawrence and Tasha.

What’s interesting about a situationship is you can’t be someone’s ex if they were never in a relationship with you to begin with. What’s even more disheartening is that there are a lot of people who think they are in a relationship and actually they are just in a situationship.

The best way to avoid becoming entangled in a sticky romantic situation is to know your STATUS. Ask the person you’re involved to be open to clearly defining your relationship—whatever it may be—and have an honest dialogue about where you’re headed.

If you happen to be on the receiving end of these questions, be honest. The only way for people to truly get what they think they want is if they’re honest with themselves and the people they’re involved with.

Read more from Candace A. Williams via her website, http://www.candaceawilliams.com.

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