Let me be the first to admit that I’m naïve when it comes to being pursued. Yes, every week I write about love and relationships. Yes, I can help you figure out if someone’s into you or not. Yes, I am hella intuitive. But when it comes to my own love life, if you do not explicitly tell me that you’re into me romantically, then I’m just going to assume that you’re friendly like I am.
Maybe I make such assumptions to protect myself from rejection. Or perhaps it’s due to my belief in being direct and not wanting to dissect a bunch of hints that could mean anything. Whatever the case may be, every once in awhile, I find myself in some very awkward situations because of it.
My level of friendliness can sometimes allow people to get a bit too comfortable with me. Within five minutes of meeting them, I know their entire life story—from how many children they have to last week’s cameo on Cheaters. Another thing that happens is that people tend to mistake my kindness for romantic interest, and I often find myself in situations like the ones I’m about to describe.
Despite being used to people divulging a lot more information than your usual first encounter would entail, I was shocked to find out that I’d been recruited to star in the local rendition of Trois at a party a short while ago. If you’re not familiar with the film, here’s a hint: three bodies, all in agreement about getting freaky at the same time.
The first time I was presented with the option to see if two really was better than one was at a house party. The atmosphere was chill, the people were cool and the hosts were some of the nicest people I’d ever met. After a few hours of socializing, dancing and drinking, things sort of… changed. It went from a good time to, well, a really good time for a few people there.
I’m talking about lights being dimmed, slow sexy mood music and people undressing themselves from the waist down while giving lap dances. At this point, I was a good three drinks in and it was quite obvious that I was buzzed. I guess my tipsiness was the couple’s cue:
(husband approaches me first)
Him: “You know… you’re very attractive Shantell, yeah… you’re real fu*ing sexy.”
Me: “Thanks…” (side eye)
Him: (calls wife over) “Baby, I was just telling Shantell how sexy she is.”
Her: (big smile) “Oh is that right?…(sly grin) Well I’ve had my eye on her since she came through the door. And you know what?” (steps up to me and grabs my collar) “If I want you, I’m going to get you.”
Me: (nervous giggle) “What in the hell?! Look… I don’t know what’s popping off here, but I’m cool on it. Aiight?” (politely excuses self)
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