It has never been clearer to me: people crave love, but do not know how to receive it. They simply aren’t willing to do the necessary work to change their circumstance either.

Instead, people opt for “projects” as opposed to a genuine, loving, passionate partner who they have an authentic soul-stirring bond with. True, this union will have its share of issues, but one thing’s for sure: you won’t question whether you’re with the one who you’re meant to weather the storm with. Just sayin.’

Let’s be real. Meeting someone who is just about everything that you imagined is scary. I mean, you can’t control raw, unfiltered emotion. Plus, if you get what you pray for, then what?

For many, the answered prayer doesn’t mean that the Creator really does well …answer prayers. It also doesn’t mean that you’re deserving of your prayers being answered. God forbid that be the case (eye roll). It simply means that you’d have to find another thing to hope, stress, sulk and pray for.

So remaining content in your dysfunction masked as “love” is the only option. Forget the fact that your union is really dependence …not to mention a damn struggle. You’re committed to the relationship. You have someone who needs you.

Instead of actually allowing yourself to be blessed with someone who we are worthy of and who gives us butterflies (yes, fairytales do f***ing exist), many of us opt for projects. We would rather expel our energy on “fixing someone,” “not letting all of our hard work go to waste” or “overcoming” some dumb ass obstacle (or twelve) than truly being happy. We’ve been conditioned to “struggle” so we “know it’s real” and to be “needed” instead of loved, adored and cherished without dependence. We cannot expect to fully be happy because the other shoe is bound to drop, right?

Those who choose projects over love aren’t simply fulfilling a need for someone else, they’re creating dependency on the relationship and circumstance due to their own shortcomings/insecurities. The need to be needed is the glue that keeps you together, which is weak and more importantly, fake love.

With that kind of glue, how can a person ever know that they’re with someone who truly loves them for them, versus someone who loves what is done for them?

I wonder if getting out of your own way seems too “real.” Hmmm.

I don’t know about you, but I’m saying no to fake love in 2018 …and beyond.


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