If I have to pay for someone else’s mistakes, then I’m not buying.
People rationalize all kinds of ridiculous behavior motivated by fear on a regular basis. The main excuse for not being willing to love someone freely and openly is, “I’ve been hurt before.”
Keyword: BEFORE …meaning there’s no guarantee it will happen this time around.
What’s sad is there are so many individuals who have opted to build walls around the parameters of their heart as a way to “protect” themselves from hurt and pain. And you know what else is sad? The fact that there are even more people who sign up to climb said walls and/or tear them down with a sledgehammer.
A lot of folks who are in long term relationships refuse to allow someone to love them properly. Many single folks remain solo for that same reason. No matter your relationship status, either you will be messed up to the point of no repair or not. Couples will post kissy faces and heart-faced emojis on social media, take pics with their significant other and even appear to be the perfect couple to the public …all while not giving even a little bit of their heart to their mates and putting them through hell via the practice of insecurity, verbal abuse and isolation behind closed doors.
We have been conditioned to believe that we must earn a person’s love instead of giving and receiving it freely for being an amazing person. If we do not struggle, then it isn’t real. We have been bred to be “Captain Save-A-Hoe,” and not to trust anyone who doesn’t come with some sort of bulls***. It’s a sad sad reality that too many of us subscribe to.
While it’s true that everyone will have their s***, you should not have to prove to someone that you are not like the rest to earn their love. In many ways, love is an audition and you must pick the best suitor. But if someone is constantly accusing you of bogus ass behaviors simply because they’ve “been hurt before,” then realize that it isn’t you; it’s them. He or she should be so confident in their intuition, that they can decipher who and what is genuine and who and what is bulls***.
The problem with people who have walls built up is that the driving force behind their “trust no one” philosophy is in fact them. They can’t trust you because they do not trust themselves and for that very reason, they should be alone. A person who lacks sound judgment (because that’s what it is when someone treats everyone the same) will never be able to appreciate someone’s true worth. Why? Because they’re busy lumping you in with everyone else while anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop. You don’t stand a chance (no matter if you are being claimed by them or not), and those walls will not only keep you out, but everyone else who attempts to love a damaged mouth***ka.
Moral? Love yourself fearlessly and abundantly and you’ll know who to let in. The one who has a fortress around their heart has no business attempting to love someone anyway.