“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

With the holidays approaching, it’s tough not to feel the void of being single. Next to putting your mom as your emergency contact after age 30, this season is definitely the peak time of year to remind us all of “Singles Awareness Day.”

Many tend to wonder why they’re single, especially when they feel they have a lot to offer a potential partner. It may not be your time, or you may have simply defaulted to rolling solo for the time being. But truthfully, those who yearn for companionship are usually in their own way. Here are four possible reasons why you haven’t been locked down just yet.

1) You don’t trust yourself.

People overlook just how valuable discernment is. When you take time to truly foster a relationship with your intuition, you will be able to tell who is deserving of your time. Many people are so distrustful of others because they do not trust themselves. Experiencing a lapse in judgment in the past does not mean that you aren’t capable of making better decisions, but you must prioritize building trust in yourself to do so.

2) You care too much about what others think.

I’m not going to pretend that other people’s opinions do not influence our decisions, but they should only do so to an extent. If you find yourself dating people only because your family, friends, and/or society approves of them, then you’re in trouble. Time waits for no one and neither does love. If you’re vibing with someone, then that’s truly all that matters. Live life on your own terms and you’ll find joy (and true love) sooner than later.

3) You’re guarded, and afraid of actually being happy.

This is a big one right here. Not only have we been conditioned to associate love with pain, but we have been taught to connect joy with disappointment. True love only occurs between characters at the end of a romantic comedy, right? No. Being vulnerable is scary, but you know what’s even more terrifying? Living your entire life alone due to fear of actually getting what you want. Do not allow the possibility of losing what you’ve spent your whole life fantasizing about deter you from experiencing it. True joy comes to those who are bold enough to not just seek, but embrace it.

4) Dating is a buffet.

These days it feels like people aren’t people; they’re options. Many of us are single because we view individuals as disposable. Thanks to modern technology, we can talk to just about anyone, and block them at any point in time. In a matter of seconds, or after swiping right on Tinder, we can “replace” a person. If you are treating human beings as if they’re an item at the Sizzler, then you may be doing yourself a disservice. Take time to actually get to know someone, and focus on a person long enough to see if they’re about something.

Being single can be an amazing time in a person’s life. So don’t ever think you’re less than because you don’t have anyone yet. With that being said, you aren’t completely helpless in your quest for companionship. It is always important to take a look at our patterns, behaviors, and perspective when seeking to attract what we desire.

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