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I’m privileged enough to say that I’ve never experienced breaking a single bone in my body. While I have a very high tolerance for pain, the agony is something that I, along with the rest of you, would never like to endure. If treated properly, the broken bone heals. But the pain is forever ingrained in your psyche. When it comes to relationships, many say that their heart is “broken” when they lose the one they love. The pain is indescribable and often you wonder if you’ll be able to go on. What I think many people mean to say is that they’re bruised, not broken.

While broken bones are very capable of healing, they are never the same. There is no opportunity for the broken bone to return to its natural state before the accident that caused it to break. But when you’re bruised, you’re able to fully heal. It may be painful and ugly to look at. The reminders that the one you love is no longer yours will remain for quite some time, but “quite some time” does not equal forever.

The problem is that bruises often feel like broken bones. Both have the potential to carry scars that will be will with you for the rest of your life. But the significant difference in being bruised versus being broken is choice.

When someone says, “my heart is broken,” they’re not just communicating feelings at the moment. They are actually speaking death of a new relationship into their presence. Breathing life into death of an opportunity to be loved the way they deserve. I get it. In the moment it feels like your world is crumbling. But you will heal. That’s if you CHOOSE to.

Pain is the main sign of a broken bone. The only way to remain broken is by possessing an attitude that allows pain from the past to thrive. If you continue to carry the disappointments, past hurts, betrayal and any other negativity from a previous relationship with you, then you’re sure to remain in pain. You will always be the helpless victim. No one will be good enough. You will even question whether or not you’re deserving of love. But it doesn’t have to be this way if you simply realize that whoever you loved had to go. Their time in your life was up and you in theirs. Do not end your book of love due to a bad chapter. Remember that you’re bruised, not broken. So live like it!

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