Sometimes Change Breeds Separation

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I’m not going to spend a lot of time discussing why change is good. I think that we can think of at least three great things that change has brought forth in our lives. What I want to talk about is a less chartered territory: the notion of change breeding separation in a relationship.

Let’s face it. Change is inevitable. Whether we want to admit it or not, the longer that we live the more we will evolve. That’s unless we resist our process of evolution. Unfortunately, many people do this very thing. They usually believe that they’ve been the same exact person with the same exact mentality since age 12. They believe that the last 20 years have had absolutely no affect on their perspective, lives and overall well-being. Granted, who we are can be determined at an early age. We will possess some characteristics forever. I’m not talking about that. I’m referring to those who almost act as if they’re perfect and credit their knowledge to birth, not life experiences.

This stubborn mode of thinking is one reason why change will often breed separation. See, if we allow it to, change can actually unite us with our mates. If we accept the fact that the natural evolution of a human being must occur, we can lend our support and evolve right along with them. But the rift comes when one person rejects the necessary changes that need to occur for the sake of the relationship. This individual absolutely refuses to budge on anything, despite it being a clear indication that their behavior is problematic. People with this mode of thinking are afraid of what the change will bring. To embrace change means that you’re willing to relinquish some sort of perceived power or control. This is something that their stubborn egos cannot handle.

Often, the change that is being requested isn’t that drastic. In fact, it’s more like compromise. Compromise is such a valuable tool in any relationship because it breeds teamwork, not control like stubborn refusal does.

It doesn’t always take one person’s unwillingness to change in order for separation to occur. Even with two very open, evolving individuals it can happen. Sometimes you simply outgrow each other, and have served your purpose in each other’s lives.

If you happen to be someone who is resistant to change, ask yourself this: Is my unwillingness to compromise worth losing my significant other? If it is then carry on. That just means that your ego and pride is worth more than a potentially life-altering relationship that could make you the happiest that you’ve ever been.

Many of us fear change. It often comes through measures that are beyond our control which can be very unsettling. But wonderful things can come through the avenue of change. That’s IF we shift our perspective.

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