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2 Corinthians 6:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

I’m not a religious person, but I must say that the above verse is quite powerful. Especially when it comes to choosing a mate. Today I’d like to talk about the importance of selecting someone that is on your level. 

You ever get into a relationship with someone that was completely different than you? You’re drawn to their mystery, or whatever it is that catches your attention. The relationship may work for awhile, but there’s a great chance that you will have to go your separate ways. Why? Because you’re unequally yoked.

When I talk about being “unequally yoked,” I’m referring to compatibility. This goes beyond a plummer dating a CEO. Or your mate not liking your favorite television show. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m referring to moralistic and foundational principles that your relationship will be grounded on.

I know a couple that has been married for 17 years. One is a devout Christian, the other, an equally committed Muslim. They have one of the best relationships that I’ve ever seen. Why? Because they have similar foundational principles. They might be of different faiths, but they both believe in a higher power. They both have a mutual respect for each others’ beliefs, despite them being different. This couple also believes in shared responsibility, committed to being there for one another during hard times, and have openly and honestly communicated what they will and will not tolerate.

Being equally yoked isn’t always about seeing eye to eye. We’re human beings and naturally we will disagree because we’re all different people. But what it is about is having honest conversations about what you desire, and whether or not the person you’re interested in can meet those requirements.

Often we look at and fall in love with a person’s potential. We see what they can be, and often ignore what they are. The best thing to do when selecting a mate is to see if you can handle and deal with what they have to bring to the table if things do not change. You have to truthfully answer the following questions:

“Can I build a future with this person RIGHT NOW?”

“Does he/she want the same things that I want?”

“Are they actively working towards achieving our shared goals?”

If you desire someone who is able to assist you with the bills, you probably shouldn’t involve yourself with someone who aspires to be a stay-at-home parent. It will only breed frustration and resentment in the long-run. As hard as it may be, a realistic approach and thoughtful conversation about your mate and your relationship is needed. Trust me, it will save you a lot of heartache and headache in the long-run.

1 Comment

  1. Equally yoked is something that I now live by after my last relationship. We were two people from different worlds, with different beliefs, and different goals. We “lasted” for two years but it wasn’t a grand relationship! When I finally broke ties I vowed to never date another man of we are not equally yoked. It’s beyond important! !!

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