We’ve all been faced with the choice of making our relationship “official” at some point. Usually a discussion takes place, with both parties agreeing that you’re ready to move on to the next level. But what does that mean? Does it mean that you verbally acknowledge that you’re exclusively together? Or do you publicly proclaim your relationship status on social media? Unfortunately, many people feel that you have to have a title in order for your union to be legit.
But what’s really in a title? In my opinion, titles aren’t necessary to define a relationship. I feel like people are so fixated on the end goal, that they forget to enjoy the ride and allow things to naturally progress.You don’t need someone to ask you to be their girlfriend/boyfriend to know how they really feel about you.
Don’t get me wrong, those who want a more defined relationship have a right not to be left in limbo. When someone talks about a title, what they really want is certainty. Unfortunately, life has no guarantees and the only thing that is certain is change and time. There are other ways of finding out where you stand with someone you’re seeing.
Some believe that a title can magically make someone treat you better. People often make the mistake of marrying someone only to find out that the relationship isn’t better than it was beforehand. The reality is that there’s more people who are in relationships that deal with disrespect than those who simply acknowledge their affinity for one another through other means.
You know what we should be pushing for? Loyalty. We should aim to cultivate a relationship with someone that we can place in a room full of temptation and know they won’t make a move. Are they there for you when they do not have to be? How are they with conflict? Are they willing to apologize when wrong and correct mistakes? Can you depend on them when you need them the most? Do they support you in your endeavors and value you as a person? Are they honest with you about how they feel? Have they walked out on you? Or stuck by your side during moments of uncertainty?
What someone does for you when they’re not obligated to speaks volumes about their character and how invested they are in the relationship.
I’ve never been the type to get wrapped up in someone’s potential. I take who they are at face value and determine if I want to move forward based on where they are now. In doing so, it gives me a realistic perspective of not just the situation, but of the person that I’m involved with. When you live in the moment and actually pay attention to what’s happening within your relationship, there’s a greater chance of you getting what you want. The title becomes less and less important. Why? Because you have a genuine, authentic connection that will lead to all of the “perks” associated with having a boyfriend/girlfriend anyway.
Despite feeling like titles aren’t that important, I do believe that if someone cares for you like they say they do, some sort of official recognition will eventually come into play. Even if it’s just between the two of you. If your actions match that of a boyfriend/girlfriend, you care about your mate, and not having a title is causing a riff in your relationship, then you probably should concede because it obviously means a lot to your mate. But titles are like shoes; they fit better when they’re not forced on your feet.
Relationships are about compromise, comfort and mutual understanding. If one or both parties cannot agree to terms that work for them, then perhaps a separation is needed. Only time and action will tell how committed someone is to you. You can have all of the titles in the world, but that means nothing if you’re being mistreated.