images (19)You caught him cheating and now you want to put him on blast. She turned out to be a liar who used you for money and a place to stay and you want to bad mouth her. While it’s natural to feel some sort of way and act off of emotion when someone has done you bogus in a relationship, too many people take joy in dissing their exes. I cannot tell you how many subliminal digs in the form of memes, videos, tweets or statuses are circulating online because of love gone wrong. I get it. Some people just do not make good partners. They take their significant other for granted, cheat, lie, steal, are violent, etc. But we must remember that harboring bitterness does nothing for our soul but bring us closer to where they are on the spectrum of humanity. That isn’t where we want to be.

I’m really big on positive influences. Each shared connection with a human being should yield progression, even if you do not end up in each other’s lives long-term. When it comes to relationships, we must accept that a less flattering outcome such as a break up might occur. What we also must do is be conscious of our emotions towards our former beau.

When you post something online, or talk to the wrong people, the negativity is fed and allowed to grow strong. Your judgment is now being influenced by several outside forces who may not have your best interests in mind. There are folks out there who thrive on drama, and text is the quickest way to lead to misunderstanding. There’s also a need to defend yourself when things are public, and this allows the ego to take over instead of the spirit.

Bitterness doesn’t have to come in the form of public humiliation. It can be as simple as declaring a fitness goal “so that jerk could see me looking fine as hell.” Or outwardly comparing your new mate to your ex. Neither of these behaviors are productive. It shows that you’re not really allowing yourself the gift of letting go and healing. In fact, it could actually keep you away from finding and keeping someone who is more right for you.

Once you come to accept that some relationships aren’t meant to last forever and that people have the power of choice, you can then allow yourself not to harbor any ill feelings. I know this is easier said than done because we all have baggage to some degree, but insecurities, fears, and bad tempers have nothing positive to offer. What good will it really do if you called your ex and went off about “all you’ve done for them?”

Aim to leave a positive mark on their lives that will help both you and them not make the same mistakes that were made in your relationship. It doesn’t mean that you have to communicate with them, but talking mad ish about them does nothing but make you look bad. So learn the lesson and gracefully move on despite the pain they may have caused you.

While we have baggage, it’s important to realize that we can determine when to lighten our loads. Each person who you used to be with should not be doing better because they’re no longer with you, but because OF YOU.

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