Ask Shan Tell’em: Begging

download (7)Dear Shan Tell’em,

I’ve been in a relationship with my mate for about 4 years now. I started feeling neglected at some point, but I can’t remember when due to being blinded by her actions and just being naive. I felt hurt, and spoke to her about it, but she blew it off as if nothing was happening. Her behavior is becoming extremely cold towards me. I no longer feel the love, as things have not changed. I don’t feel loved despite doing all of the begging and pleading. No matter what I do she is just so distant and doesn’t reciprocate the love and attention that I give her. At what point do you stop asking for cooperation from your mate and just walk away? When do you stop accepting gifts, jewelry or whatever as a form of love?

Signed,

Begging

Dear Begging,

I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. Clearly you’re with someone who isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are. But I have good news. You can always LEAVE. It really sounds like you’re with someone who is taking you for granted. Whenever you talk to your mate about an issue, it should be worked on. Some sort of action plan should be put in place that let’s you know that you’ve been heard and that it is an issue that has their full attention and commitment to changing. I just do not see it in this case.

Whatever the reason, you deserve better. You should never have to beg your mate for anything. When someone assumes that role in your life, they are obligated to add to and enrich it. The end. While four years is a long time to invest in a relationship, it’s also enough time for you to know each other well enough to know when to call it quits. It might be hard, but I think you know in your heart what to do.

Good luck and I wish you the best.

Submit your inquiries to contact@shantelljamison.com.

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