Everything that you’ve been shown by the world and told by the world about love is a lie. Well MOST of it is. Love isn’t some magical feeling that makes all of the pain go away. It isn’t bunnies roaming aimlessly through a field of lovely daisies. It’s rough and dirty and everything that you need to make life worth living.
If you watch an old romance film or read a Danielle Steele novel, you’d pretty much think that love is:
1. meeting a very attractive (abnormally attractive) person
2. falling in love with said abnormally attractive person, usually in a setting that involves a civil war or horse and buggy
3. overcoming some kind of ridiculous obstacle that really isn’t all that ridiculous and would make real-life relationship issues look like a cake-walk
4. live happily ever after in the magical kingdom of neva neva land
But real love doesn’t work that way. It comes at the most unexpected and inopportune times. You’re less likely to end up with Prince Charming or The lovely Princess Jasmine, and more likely to fall for the goofy mailman down the street, or the high school geek who you’ve been overlooking all of these years. While love isn’t “perfect,” it also isn’t messy and disrespectful.
Love isn’t being mistreated. It’s not feeling obligated to put up with someone else’s bulls*** when they can’t take yours. But it is rough. It’s kissing someone in the morning when they haven’t brushed their teeth yet. Rough. It’s sticking by your mate’s side when they’ve lost their job. Rough. It’s staying up with your wife as she pumps breast milk for your newborn son at 2 a.m. Hella rough. It isn’t abandoning ship when times get tough despite feeling like you want to leave. It isn’t leaving someone who loves you only to return after it didn’t work out with the one who they wanted to love. Love is simply commitment due to wanting to be there and finding value in the relationship when all signs point to no.
Once the feeling of infatuation ends, things get real. The rose-colored glasses come off. You get to see the person who you think you may love for their full self. You see them angry. You see them sad and depressed when they’re normally positive and upbeat. Love is still saying, “hey, I see your flaws and I am still here.”
Now THAT’s love. So don’t f*** it up.