There’s nothing like going on a great date. One where you have fun, learn and get to know about each other and decide that you want a second, and third and fourth date. You know, the type of date where you go home and immediately call your bff, no scratch that—you’re actually texting your bff, your sister, your granny and your mom at the same time DURING the date because it’s so good. THAT kind of date.
If you’re like most single people in the world, you can count the number of great dates that you’ve had on one hand. Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t know how to treat someone to a wonderful evening. One of the best dates that I ever had was going to one of my favorite fast food restaurants and talking by the lakefront about 10 years ago. Yes, I STILL remember that date. Why? Because it contained all of the elements listed below.
An Activity That Plays to Your Date’s Interests
A date is meant to show interest in someone romantically and to see if you’re a good fit. What better way to do that than to craft the outing around your beau’s interests? If she likes painting, then take her to a painting or pottery class. If he is interested in fine Italian cuisine, take him to a nice restaurant that serves the delicacies that he enjoys. Usually, you have time for at least one or two conversations before the first date. This is where you gauge your potential mate’s interests. If for some reason you are set up on a blind date, pick your matchmaker’s brain for tips, or use social media to figure out what activity is best. The move will be seen as thoughtful and unselfish, unlike taking a vegetarian to a Brazilian steak house because you like your red meat.
An Authentic Connection
A mentor of mine gave me a bit of advice on networking awhile ago. He said to “always aim to establish an authentic connection.” Your best friend is your best friend because you “click.” You may not be the same person, but you have a solid and shared connection. Great dates invoke the same type of feeling. You were drawn to ask him/her out because you felt a possible connection. What will determine if the date goes from okay to great is how authentic that connection is. When a true union is established, the conversation has potential to go beyond the surface. You’re able to share a common bond, and passionately talk about whatever it is that moves you. Authentic connections allow you to see the person uninhibited and they are able to view you in the same light.
YOU Being Present
This may seem strange, but great dates have both people present. You might be saying to yourself, “of course that’s a no-brainer unless one person does not show up!” I don’t mean physically present, but present in your true form. It is very necessary that you leave all airs at home. There is no room for the person who you think he/she will like to be in the building. YOU must show up in your rawness. Now I’m not saying let curse words fly from your mouth or start scratching yourself in inappropriate places. But you must show up. People love when they’re in the company of someone who is being the real them unless they are a fake individual. This will allow you to determine if you really should continue to pursue this person or let the date start and end at number one.
Great dates are fun. Plan for the unexpected and seek to make your date smile as much as possible. The goal is to have them leave the outing feeling like they want to have you around again and again and again.
Even with these elements dating can be tricky. A lot of it depends on chemistry. But it’s pretty rare that dates that are fun, interesting, authentic and have a real connection don’t turn into something more. Even if it’s just a very solid friendship. So aim high but realistically, laugh a whole lot and just enjoy the moment for what it is!
Don’t see something on the list? What makes a great date to you? Add your tips in the comments section below!