Hope is wonderful. It is hope that sparks action. Hope is responsible for a lot of changes that occur. Unfortunately, hope is also responsible for a lot of relationships not ending as quickly. We actually know when a relationship is over. We know when it “just isn’t like it used to be.” We stick around because we ignore what our gut has been telling us in hopes that it’s wrong. But intuition never lies.
There are a few telltale signs that a relationship should end. It’s best to take heed to them, as you’ll save yourself a lot of heartbreak, anguish, bitterness and resentment.
You Stop Spending Time Together
When you initially start dating someone, you’re inseparable. While it’s natural for the “Honeymoon” phase to pass, time spent should not be taken for granted. Work schedules, commitments and other obligations aside, you make time for your significant other. If you find yourself showing up to friend/family outings solo more often than not, then chances are there’s been a dip in your mate’s level of investment. Someone who is really committed to you is interested in socializing with those who you value.
They Don’t Support Your Endeavors
There’s nothing worse than having a mate who does not support your professional and personal endeavors. Your significant other should be your number one cheerleader, regardless of how interested they are in what you’re doing. Their emotional support is a necessary element for fostering closeness and security in the relationship. If you feel like you are in a tug-o-war to get him/her to understand your career moves and/or attend your extra curricular activities, then it’s probably time to find someone who is more aligned with your needs. I’m not saying that he has to faithfully attend your BINGO nights, but there should be no reason why he hasn’t shown up to a single work function at a job you’ve been at for 6 years.
The Intimacy Is Nonexistent
As tragic as it is, some couples just do not have sex anymore. Health issues, sexual dysfunctions, etc. can destroy a relationship’s physical intimacy if you allow it to. That’s why I used the word “intimacy” instead of “sex” for this section. Intimacy goes beyond the physical. Through shared connections such as cuddling while watching a movie, preparing a meal together, talking and listening to one another, a level of closeness that keeps relationships solid and strong is established. Once that stops being a priority, you will soon look at each other as nothing more than roommates, or worse.
You Start Looking To Others For Comfort
When your mate is no longer the person you go to for comfort and affection there’s trouble. In fact, you’re so far beyond the danger zone that you’ve invited opportunity for others to fill the needs that your mate is supposed to fill. This is one of the main reasons why people stay in situations longer than they need to. By receiving temporary comfort from an outside source, you are not allowing yourself to feel an actual void that is present in their current relationship. In turn, your partner is left out of the dark and in the cold, possibly not even knowing that an issue is present. Unless you talk to your mate about what’s going on, the relationship will either end or someone will cheat.
Your Union Is One of Convenience, Not Passion
You’re together simply because you do not want to start over or worse: the kids. Your level of comfort and familiarity keeps you stuck in a relationship where you’re just not satisfied. You believe that someone better suited for you is out there, hell you’ve probably dated them. But you just weren’t ready to let go. As “comfortable” as your current situation may be, ask yourself whether or not it is worth your happiness because that’s exactly what you’re paying for it.
You No Longer Respect Each Other
Every relationship will have it’s trials but some things just cannot be conquered. If you look in your mate’s direction and can no longer value them, then it’s time to pack up the bags and bounce ASAP. If nothing about their abilities, qualities or achievements makes you look at them admirably and if everything they do is just wrong bounce. There are few things worse than being disrespected, especially by your significant other.
It’s important to recognize the difference between an obstacle and a dead end. Relationships are about commitment, so be prepared to endure a lot of uncompromising situations. But if the aches and pains outweigh the smiles then you might want to reconsider. After all, love is and always will be an action verb.
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