Complain or change, you can’t do both

If we think long enough, I’m pretty sure we can come up with more than a few things to complain about. I can think of at least three right now. While the practice may make you feel good in the moment, it serves absolutely no purpose at all when it comes to solving issues. 

I’ll be the first to say that I hate hate HATE complaining. Not those who complain, but the act itself. The reason why most of us complain is because we’re unhappy in a situation and want it to change in some way. But the chances of things improving is damaged each time we do so.

Complaining is not to be confused with venting. When you complain, you rarely reach the point of arriving at a solution. Instead, a reoccurring cycle of talking about how unhappy you are takes place. Venting can be a very productive if practiced in moderation. When you vent, you get things off of your chest, and can face them with a clear mind. It allows for solutions to come into play and be implemented. It allows for CHANGE.

You know those people who say, “I just need you to listen.” So you do. Time and time again. About the same exact thing. These folks are “unloaders.” They have no intention of actually changing their situation. They just want to vent to feel well enough to endure whatever the unpleasant circumstance is that they’re involved in.

Free yourself from the unloaders. Only lend your ear to those who wish to talk solutions, even if there isn’t one at the moment. The best solution involves change. That could mean standing up to that co-worker who insist on coasting on your hard work. It could mean ending that abusive relationship and realizing that you’re worth more than being someone’s verbal and/or physical punching bag. Or it could simple mean you saying no to that emotionally draining friend or family member.

I get it. It’s tough to make changes in your life. But too often do we choose the easier option over the one that’s more beneficial. Either way, we all will have to decide on whether to continue to complain or change because we cannot do both.