When the Trust Is Lost…

 

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A relationship will ultimately die no matter how long the couple lives without trust. The feeling, paired with love, honesty, respect and commitment is what keeps us IN LOVE. Without any of those, you’ll have a very tough time remembering why you chose to commit to your mate in the first place. But all hope shouldn’t be lost. Trust can in fact be restored if both parties are willing to start with a clean slate. 

Beginning with a clean slate does not mean that you forget the offense. It simply means that you’ve made the choice to forgive and grant the relationship another chance to thrive.  The offender must give their significant other a reason to believe in them again, and that usually comes in the form of acknowledgement of fault and a strong commitment to change. Egos must be tossed to the side because at this point, the spirits of each being need to realign with one another. All ties to the offending action must be cut loose. If cheating took place, the person who your mate had an affair with can no longer be in the picture in any capacity. If drugs are the reason for the distrust, all parties involved in the drug dealing must be removed from the offender’s life. Steps have to be taken in order to understand and ensure that the offense does not happen again.

Trust takes time to gain, but even more time to earn once it’s lost. Patience, along with reminders of what once was through positive actions that mirror the period where trust was not in question must be executed regularly. Your foundation has been shattered, and just like it takes time to pick up broken glass off of the floor, trust will be equally as difficult to re-establish. It can be downright dirty and take years to even regain a glimpse of the trust that once existed in your relationship before. You must both be realistic and committed to acting unselfishly in order for the process of healing to even begin.

You’ll never be perfect, so it makes no sense to promise that you’ll never hurt your mate again. What’s critical to rebuilding trust in the relationship is being committed to making new mistakes. No one wants to mess up, but if your’e constantly apologizing for the same offense, how sorry are you really? The apology becomes more of a band-aid than words that stem from an authentic place of sincerity. New mistakes signal growth and expansion, not stagnation that leads to the end of a relationship.

Your mate should contribute to your peace of mind and not cause panic and worry.  If you feel that you just cannot trust your mate again, be bold enough to walk away. A different kind of trust needs to work in your favor and that’s trust in yourself to make the correct decision to move on. Be willing to let whatever ended the relationship die, and if you’re lucky enough a fresh start together will be in the cards.

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