Why Love Is Not Enough

imageWe don’t have to watch a cheesy talk show to witness a couple that sticks together in the name of love that should have parted ways a long time ago. Hell, many of us either are or have been that couple at some point. Love is a key component to a healthy relationship, but without respect, honesty, trust and a slew of other elements you’ll be miserable. Love is simply NOT enough.

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who will take your love, dignity and respect for granted.  Forgiveness is key, but at some point it turns into enabling. For example, I was talking to an associate who is in a “situationship.” You know, a relationship where one person is pretty much committed and ready to take the next step but the other person simply likes things the way that they are? There are elements of a committed relationship, but they’re executed just enough to the point where the less satisfied person has hope that their beau will “come around one day.” Anyway, she’s very unhappy because the person she is seeing has done just about everything under the sun to hurt and manipulate her. They agreed to sleep with each other exclusively. That was violated. Her mate brought someone else to a family function instead of her. She forgave that. She’s been lied to and cheated on repeatedly. The list goes on and on but she stays. Why? Because “she loves him.”

At some point, one has to look beyond what they feel for someone to really see how their significant other sees them. I realize that finding out that you don’t matter as much to someone that you love can be a scary thing. A lot of us have hope that is so strong that we feel like we can love enough for the entire relationship. But that’s just inaccurate and unfair to you in the long-run. We owe it to ourselves to pay attention to the signs that it is simply time to let go. There is peace in that.

Granted, every couple will have their challenges. How you handle those challenges will determine if you are right for each other, but some things you just shouldn’t have to put up with. You should never accept behavior from your partner that violates the terms of your relationship, and you should never have to demand respect from the one who you’re meant to be with.

By taking a step back, you give your mate the chance to show you if you matter or not. People have a funny way of revealing their true selves when you stop granting them the privilege to walk all over you. Find the courage to walk away when all of the signs point to “leave.”

 

 

 

 

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