You spend years attempting to get someone to see that you’re worthy of their love. You figure if you could just get him or her to see that you’re different from the rest, then you’d have his or her heart forever.
Instead, the opposite happens. You’re accused of bullshit you’d never do and the walls get thicker and thicker. Nothing that you do to ease your mate’s insecurities is enough.
And guess what? It never will be. And it for damn sure doesn’t have to be either.
Understanding this reality will save you a lot of time, anguish and heartbreak as you journey to find someone who loves you with all their heart …and it will save your soul. You will damn near lose who you were born to be while attempting to love an unavailable person. Realizing that it isn’t your job to make someone see you for who you are will keep you from turning into them: a cold, fearful individual who believes that shutting everyone out due to a few folks hurting them is the key.
Listen, while it may be tempting as fuck to treat every person the same, it is far from productive. It turns you into a cold, unavailable, selfish asshole who totes the “trust no one” philosophy because you’ve forgotten how to trust yourself (shrugs).
Being a great, kind, generous, loving person isn’t the problem; not being selective with who you are kind to is. Do not give your all to someone who expects you to due to their beliefs of entitlement. DO continue to give to the worthy.
There is a big difference, and this selectivity fueled by your intuition will determine if you end up with someone who loves you and sees who you are, or someone who you keep trying to love in hopes that they’ll let you in one day.
shantelljamison.com 